The Art of Conversation:

1)  Conversation Starters—Can be a comment or a question. What you say depends on the situation and the person or people present. Here are some situations, let’s brainstorm some conversation starters:

1. In a classroom at college for the first time

2. On a bus

3. In line at a grocery store

4. When introduced to a member of the opposite sex—you are interested!

5. Meeting a friend of a friend

6. At a party meeting people

7. At a sports event

8. In a job interview

9. At a wedding

10. In the laundry room

2)  Conversational Basketball: Conversation is like basketball. In basketball, one player dribbles the ball for a short amount of time and then passes it on. Then, the next player typically dribbles it a bit and passes it back or to a third player. If a player drops the ball, nobody is happy. It’s also against the rules just to stand there and hold the ball. You have to keep it going.

When engaged in a conversation:
One person starts the conversation and then passes it to the next person. It is then the responsibility of that person to continue the conversation by expanding the topic a bit before passing it back or to another person (dribbling so to speak). One word answers are often like dropping the ball; the conversation will fall flat. If this continues for several more tries, the conversation will switch to someone more skillful.

      Sample of a poor conversation:
Dana: “Hi Margie. How was your weekend?”
Margie: “Fine”. (DROPPED THE BALL)
Dana: “Did you do anything fun or interesting”
Margie: “No” (DROPPED IT A SECOND TIME)

Question: How does Dana feel at this point? She is doing all the work and getting nothing. What would you do if you were Dana?

How could this conversation turn out better? (Expand   the topic; have Margie ask how Dana’s weekend went, etc.).
Have two people in the LSC class demonstrate how it could have sounded, starting with the same question:     Hi, how was your weekend?

3)  I broke the ice, now what do I talk about with someone I don’t know?

1. It is always good to focus on the other person. Show interest in them and what they do. Make a few inquiries without playing 20 questions. Be sure to offer some information about yourself too without monopolizing the conversation. Be a good listener; don’t always bring the conversation back to yourself (give an example).

2. Some safe topics:
   -weather
   -current events
   -sports and entertainment
   -news events that you are interested in and can discuss
   Avoid religion, politics and controversial subjects

3. If you want to expand the relationship after meeting someone, consider exchanging email addresses instead of phone numbers

4)  Conversation starters for first dates:

There are many internet resources available for this topic. “Date Seeker” states the following: It is a good idea to keep all conversation positive—never bring up negative things like death and avoid controversial subjects like religion, politics and abortion until you get to know the person better. Here are some good conversation starters that focus the conversation on the other person:

-Have any pets? (People love their pets. If they don’t have any, you can ask why)
-Have you ever _____? Ask about something that you are knowledgeable about or enjoy doing. This is a good way to find out what you have in common. If they don’t have any interest then just say, “Oh I see”.
-Do you like sports?
-Have you ever been to ____? Ask about a spot you enjoy. This can lead to another date if the person is interested.
-What types of music do you like?
-What do you like to do for fun?

Some conversation starters that can lead to interesting conversation (have 2 LSC students ask each other these questions while the others observe):

1. Has any book had a major impact on you?

2. What was the best bargain you ever found?

3. What’s the most annoying thing someone could do on a first date?

4. What’s the most unusual thing you know how to do?

5. Is there anything you can’t say “no” to?

6. What food could they not pay you enough to eat?

7. What was the craziest thing you ever did when you were a kid?

8. If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

During the role playing, stop the conversation and ask “what do you know about the other person so far” then continue the role play.

Discuss which questions worked and which did not and why.

All of these conversation starters are centered around topics that have the potential for interesting and exciting conversation. If you really have trouble with keeping conversation going it may be a good idea to go out on a group date with another couple. This will take most of the pressure off of you two so conversation will flow more easily and naturally.